Q&A: Connect with friends of my ex partner on LinkedIn or not?

Question: I’m a professional who have been a member of LinkedIn for just over a year. To get my head around the tool and how to use it I went to a one day course and also read a couple of books on the topic of LinkedIn and online networking. Everything has worked out really well for me and I even got three different job offers from my extended LinkedIn network.

Now to the problem. My ex-partner’s best friend wants to connect with me on LinkedIn. My ex left under quite horrible circumstances over ten years ago.

In the last few years I’ve lived a good life and I’ve kept him out of my life and I felt pretty good about that.

If I would accept the request to connect my ex would be in my 2nd degree network, just thinking about it makes me feel distressed and anxious. At the same time it’s only online, it’s not as if we are going to be in the same room every week.

What shall I do? Is it normal to feel anxious about this kind of things?

Answer: The world of the web is connecting us with everyone who is online in one way or an other. To be connected in social media is a way to build or maintain a relationship. If your gut feeling tells you that it feel wrong to accept the connection you should just ignore the request and you don’t have to explain your decision to anyone.

Some past relationships are best kept in a closed closet and then you through the keys aways. In most social media networks you can block people from your profile, if someone hurt you deeply that can make this whole experience a bit easier. They won’t find you and they will not be able to send you a new request.

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Focus on the connections that you enjoy having in your network, give them more attention and they will do the same to you.

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