Category Archives: Life online

A quick review of my use of social media over the last year

I spend far too much time online, and over the last 18 months, I’ve tried to reduce the time I spend on social media. Here are some of my insights.

In November 2015, I decided to post less on my personal Facebook page. I thought Facebook was eating up my time. Before that, I posted almost every day and often also posted several updates. Then I decided to post less myself and comment less.

One reason for this was that some people liked to argue with me online, and I don’t feel much satisfaction in hosting a ‘fight club’. Another reason is that Facebook has become a place where people post too much about politics and sensitive questions that take a three-hour lecture or a 300-page book to really understand. Many topics and problems are too complex to cover in a few sentences.

One thing that became clear to me after I started to post less frequently was that I got fewer ‘likes’ from my friends and followers, and I suspect that this has to do with Facebook’s algorithm. I suddenly broke my posting pattern, then the algorithm got confused and showed fewer of my posts.

In May, I was harassed and trolled in Facebook groups for days. This made me so angry, so I managed to speak to Facebook’s head of policy and I suggested some changes to the platform which they then implemented. I should have been paid for this, but they got my advice for free.

Read the story here

I still use my Instagram account as a diary. I use it for myself so I remember where I’ve been. I have no strategy and no special intention in using it. It’s messy and not as organised as it could be. I’ve become a crazy cat person on Instagram too. Since I started to live with a cat I’ve had to take lots of pictures of him…

I still enjoy hashtags and there are some people who share great things there, so I check them out every now and then. Twitter has been Trump’s platform over the last few months, and I believe that we will continue to have to read what he writes on Twitter whether we like it or not.

I use it more often now. I had a lesson with Leo, 18, and he showed me some tips and tricks. I then wrote a blog post for people who are over 22 about how to use Snapchat, which was widely shared.

I got very annoyed with LinkedIn last year. They didn’t feature any of my posts that had a feminist angle in the story, and only showed the things I wrote that were simple to digest for readers. I got so irritated with this and stopped posting for quite a while. I wrote to their customer support team and of course, they denied that the algorithm they use to pick feature stories has any bias towards stories that have a feminist angle. Read the story here

I don’t log in that often and I should add some new photos to my sexy, sexy collection.

I hardly think of YouTube as social media, even if it’s huge. It’s a channel with lots of educational videos for me, and I watch quite a few.

I try to be more conscious of what I do online, but it is really hard when you get all these notifications and reminders all the time. We are curious creatures and it is hard to stay away.

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Life online after death – have you put any plans in place?

A few weeks ago a journalist interviewed me about life online and she asked how I have planned my digital afterlife. I want to share some of my thoughts with you.

Social media is a key part of our lives, and it is important to put plans in place about what you would like to happen to all your online accounts when you are gone. What happens to assets such as a house and car when you are not here any longer is pretty easy to manage, but digital assets are complex.

There are messages, photos and videos that we would like to share with the people left behind. There may be assets that should be deleted. When we are not here there is little we can do to control our online assets, and others may be able to do this for us without having access to our accounts.

I’ve read that an estimated 108 billion people have lived since the beginning of the human race. Right now there are approximately 7.35 billion people living together on this earth.

Every year 56 million people die. Now that approximately 40% of the world’s population has access to the internet, lots of online accounts are left behind.

You may not have shared any of your login details and passwords with anyone, and what’s left behind online will stay the way it is. This means that millions of people leave their online accounts as they are. Lots of people are added to the virtual graveyard.

Do you have a plan? Does anyone else have access to the passwords for your digital devices? Have you left the right kinds of posts, ideas and thoughts online for people to look at when they search for you online?

Have you planned you digital after-life?
There are plenty of instances where relatives are left behind with no access to a phone or a computer.

I read about Colin and Sue Hehir who lost their son Morgan, and now they have no access to the content saved on his Apple computer. So far Apple has refused to give them access to the computer.

Depending on your culture you may be more open about sharing your passwords with others, and I would highly recommend that you do this with the people you trust.

Companies that produce digital devices do not build them thinking about what will happen after the owner’s death. It could be pretty easy to do that I would guess. Apple is releasing new updates all the time; why not add a question in the next one asking the device’s owner who Apple should contact if the person dies? And then make it possible for relatives to contact Apple after a relation’s death.

On Facebook you can add a legacy contact. You can also download all your Facebook content, such as photos and videos, and share these with your loved ones.

We are used to watching the funerals of celebrities on TV. Have you thought about whether you would like to live broadcast your own funeral? You have plenty of options with new tools such as Facebook Live. Everyone who cannot attend your funeral could watch it later, or people far away can follow it live.

Are you being smart about your digital legacy?

Keep or delete?

I met a woman at a conference who told me she wants all the traces of her online to be deleted the day she passes away. If she organised all her accounts in a smart way and share all the details with her family and trusted friends this is possible. Many social media companies are not that easy to deal with if you don’t have access to login details and passwords.

I started to think about what I should do with my online accounts when I talked to my parents about what they wanted to do with their social media accounts when they are no longer here.

A year ago I counted the number of sites where I post my own content online. It turned out that I am present in over 30 places.

I shared the password to my computer with my parents a while back, and I’ve also let them know the login and passwords to some of my most relevant social media accounts. If they need to, they know how to log in to my mobile phones and iPad as well. My partner also has access to my digital devices.

When I’m not here I would like my Facebook account to stay as it is; it’s like a diary of what I’ve done, who I’ve known, the places I’ve been to and some of my personal thoughts. If it’s turned into a memorial page, I think that is okay as well. I’ve used my Instagram as a personal diary, and it’s easy to see what I’ve been up to, so that should stay. I post a memory there a few times a week, and it’s great to look back at what I’ve been up to.

I don’t feel that close to my Twitter account, and it would be okay if that were deleted. On my LinkedIn page I share a lot of blog posts, if would be good if they were kept so people can continue to read what I’ve written.

The most complex digital asset I have is my personal website and blog: It’s tricky because someone needs to manage it if I can’t do it. For a website you pay for your domain name and for hosting, and if the bank cards you pay with are not working any longer who will take the payments over?

When I’m not here any longer it would be best to close down my website. I need to set up a backup plan if I want my website and blog to stay active.

The journalist also asked me if I would like to send a message out on my social media when I’m gone. There are social media apps to help you with this.

No, is my answer.

I think it would be unfair to push messages out online when I’m dead. I write a lot, and would definitely like people to be able to remember me by looking at my social media accounts. If there is something I need to tell people, I will try to do it while I’m still here, not by sending a message after my death that may not be welcome at that moment.

Some people are concerned about how they will be perceived online after they die. I believe that it’s connected with the fact that we expose ourselves all the time. We share more, and then people see more of us. Social media is part of our identity and who we are, and, of course, we would like to be remembered by others in a good and fair way.

It’s a trend to be open and share a lot about yourself on social media. This then is reflected by what we leave behind. When we share more on open digital platforms it makes us more conscious of what we leave behind on social media.

Some feel that they are writing their biography when they blog and document their lives on YouTube. It does make you think about who you are and how you would like to be remembered.

Some interesting pages to check out on Facebook:

If you have any thoughts or worries you are welcome to get in touch with me, just send me an email at sofie @

Thank you for reading.


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Dani Mathers’ immoral use of social media

Social media gives us the ability to instantly share what we are experiencing. We have all become broadcasters. We can live tweet, stream live videos and we can create live stories and share them on Snapchat.

Yesterday I was made aware that Playboy model Dani Mathers had shared a photo of a woman getting dressed at the gym with the comment: ‘If I can’t unsee this then you can’t either!’

Dani Mathers

With our mobile phone we are close to people and we can share what we see right there and then. Users who have poor judgment may end up sharing content that is disheartening.

In the case of the photo taken at the gym, Dani Mathers said in her apology that she thought she was sending the photo to one of her connections. To share a body-shaming image with just one single person is bad enough. To do what Mathers did and share it with all her followers on Snapchat is just disgusting.

If you’ve used Snapchat you know that you can share in different ways, one by clicking to update your live story, which will stay online for 24 hours, or you click to share with specific connections. Mathers is an experienced social media user and even if she is new to Snapchat she should have been careful with what kind of images she was sharing.

Gyms have privacy rules and you as a guest agree to follow them. To take photos of others getting dressed is an invasion of privacy.

I’m not an expert on US law, but Dani Mathers may be sued both by the gym and the woman she photographed.

If this doesn’t reach a courtroom it has certainly got attention online. Thousands of tweets have been shared online and it’s in the news all over the world. Dani Mathers has taken down both her Instagram and Twitter account, I guess to avoid all the comments. You can still read what people think of her on her Facebook page.

To take secret pictures of people getting dressed is wrong everywhere, on the beach, at home, and in the gym. We all have the right to privacy and what Dani Mathers did is immoral, sinful and dirty.

Earlier this year I wrote about Periscope and the problems that live video streaming brings with it. All social media networks have a lot of power when they give their millions of users broadcasting tools. Who should be responsible? And who will decide what content should stay online?

We need to talk about these are big moral questions.

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Ten distinct types of digital stress

Social media brings stress into our lives in the most peculiar ways. We are constantly hearing that we should not be connected all the time and that it’s the cause for lots of stress. But is that easy? If we just disconnect things would be much better? I’ve asked people what make them stressed online, here is a summary of what they told me:

  1. The hassle when your phone is running out of battery.
  2. The shock when you’ve been overusing your 3G and 4G allowance. What happened?
  3. The disappointment when your phone runs out of memory while you’re filming a video.
  4. When you get to know from a post on Facebook that you were not invited to a fun party and your so-called ‘friends’ seem to have had a great time.
  5. When you are sitting on the tube and the cute guy/girl you want to flirt with is just staring down at their phone.
  6. When you realise that someone in your social media network is writing insulting and humiliating comments about you on social media.
  7. When you are having a bad day and you feel like the loneliest person in the universe and ALL your connections seem to have perfect lives.
  8. The day when you search for a friend online and they left all social media without telling you and there is no way to connect to them.
  9. When someone you care for shares that they are seriously ill on social media, and may have just a short time to live.
  10. When you learn on social media that a friend has passed away.

You can download a PDF with 9 tips to prevent digital stress and organisational mess.

Sign up to the 30-day challenge: Prevent Digital Stress and Organisational Mess.

30-day challenge prevent digital stress and organisational mess with Sofie Sandell


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How to be kind on social media and create more ‘feel-good’ hormones

Every day when we hang out online we meet people. These online meetings can very well be as important as face-to-face meetings.

When you comment and interact with others you are making a choice. Even when you choose not to say anything you also make a choice or maybe even a statement.

For whatever reason I’ve been stuck in three different discussions going nowhere on social media in the last week. It’s been draining.

I’ve also had another fruitful discussion with a person I’d never met before and we were able to move our discussion forward and be respectful – the difference was like night and day compared to the other debates.

I deleted two of the aggressive threads. I felt that the exchanges were pointless and there was no way we could come to any kind of conclusion.

One of the disputes was in a group about science and research connected to Vetenskap och Folkbildning (VoF). I’ve followed many of the discussions before and I wanted to share an online course I was taking about food. This is a Swedish Facebook group and in Sweden food is a sensitive topic. People are food fundamentalists and extremists and I thought it could be good for people who are interested in science and food to check out this scientific course. The course is called Food As Medicine. Wow, just the title triggered many people to tell me that food is food and medicine is medicine.

If you just think a little bit deeper you may see that what you eat is connected with health, and right now one billion people are ill because they are not getting enough food. This is not a Western world problem, but there are still millions who get all kinds of illnesses because of malnutrition. There are also hundreds of studies taking place right now that are looking at food as medicine.

The strong voices in the group accused me of all kinds of things in the comment field. It was impossible for me to sit all day and defend why I posted the link to the course in that group, and why I think food matter.

I deleted the thread, I checked all the comments and posts I’d added to the group before, deleted them as well and left the group.

There was nothing to be gained for me by being part of this forum.

I’ve been collaborating with academic researchers before exploring the world, I hate quackery medicine, I’m sceptical, but not cynical towards pseudo-science, and I think science matter. I would have been a perfect match for this group on Facebook. Right not we didn’t click.

I prefer to hang out in places online where people can agree, disagree and be kind. This group didn’t have that ability.

Is this good or bad for VoF running the Facebook group? Well, it’s a sensitive topic, and you will have subjective views, I would say that when you let aggressive voices and judgemental people run a group, it’s not good for your brand.

We need more kindness online. Being kind means that you are open to collaboration. Pride and bad judgement remove the creativity and collaborative abilities you once had. Helping others is deeply satisfying, and when you are collaborating you are stimulating the pleasure centre of the brain. The dopamine effect kicks in, and we feel awesome.

Tips for being kinder online and helping your brain create more ‘feel-good’ hormones:

  1. Don’t play the devil’s advocate on social media. Provoking debate or testing the strength of opposing arguments may lead nowhere, and you brand yourself as a nuisance.
  2. If you were wrong or misunderstood something be quick to apologise. Being right all the time is not always the more productive outcome.
  3. Be aware that people have different opinions and they don’t have to tell you in detail why they hold a particular view. It’s okay to disagree. Remember that winning an argument may lose you a friend.
  4. Be generous with compliments. Most people are starving from lack of encouragement.
  5. When you are kind online or in real life more ‘feel-good’ hormones release into your brain and body. Everyone wins.
  6. If you have a lot of authority in your online network, be a good role model. People learn from your behaviour and will copy you. We are programmed to copy others’ behaviour and if you behave like a sloppy, selfish bully people will learn that it’s okay to behave that way and the nasty behaviour will spread.
  7. Being a good example is one way to prevent ignorant and rude people taking over social media. You can’t control others but you can slow down and think before you post and comment online.
  8. Be kind and kindness will come in return.

Heart painted on paper

Photo from

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How many owns a smartphone where you live?

I often read stats from the PEW Institute in the US when I prepare for a talk or workshop. You need numbers to back up your arguments with and I find some of their reports worth reading.

When you talk about how many that are connected to the Internet, you measure if they either have access to it at work, at home, at an Internet cafe or if they use or own a smartphone.

To know about this kind of facts give you a good foundation when you are interpreting what digital connectivity means in the bigger context of work, business, and society.

“In just the past two years, there has been a vast increase in the share of people in many emerging nations surveyed who report owning a smartphone. Despite these rapid changes, richer countries in the survey still report higher levels of smartphone ownership compared with poorer nations. And smartphone rates in advanced economies still have plenty of room to grow.

Overall, a global median of 43% say that they own a cellphone that is a smartphone, which is defined as a cellphone that can access the internet and apps, such as an iPhone or an Android. An additional 45% across the 40 countries say they have a cellphone that is not a smartphone. A median of only 12% among respondents say that they do not own a cellphone of any kind.”























To read the full report go to PEW’s global website.

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I have a second career in China

The other day I was accepting connection requests on LinkedIn. Since my two last blog posts on LinkedIn went viral and got shared hundreds of times I had at least 100 new requests to wade through. There are plenty of phoney accounts on LinkedIn, and one way I use to check if they are real is to google searched the profile photo. I right-click on the photo and choose to search Google. If the photo turns up on websites and other social media with another person’s name on it’s a fraud account.

I thought I should do the same search for my own photo, and I found that a company in Shanghai is using my profile photo with another name on it. How annoying! Here is the site:

Can I do anything about it? Or shall I just leave it?

I asked this question on my Facebook. One of my friends suggested that I could always add it as an experience to my CV. Another friend who is French pointed out that she always said I look French, so it’s funny that they say I speak French, hehehe.

Everyone who has a photo of themselves online is risking ‘photo kidnapping’. If you are planning to work with a company you are not familiar with a tip is to Google search the photos of their employees so you know they are honest regarding who is working for them.

Screenshot 2016-04-23 22.53.04



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Quick tips how to build a meaningful personal brand on social media

How you ‘should use’ social media is up to you. The social media platforms are there to be explored, used and tested. New trends come and go, and there will always be new apps and platforms to discover. We are using social media in a variety of ways in different contexts; it depends on culture, family, school, work, and aspirations. There will never just be one answer to how you should use social media, but many. 

When we post and engage online we say something about ourselves, and here I’ve collected five wise social media and personal branding tips that can be used by everyone without too much effort. 

  1. Have a current profile picture of yourself that reflect who you are now, not a random cat, and not a photo of you with your old hair colour.
  2. Be nice and helpful online. Join groups and share tips and be part of discussions.
  3. If you are using social media to get a new job be ‘net smart’. Have a relevant social media bio that’s sharing the same message on all social media platforms. Make sure you have your skills and experiences documents on all social media platforms you are using, crosslink between them, so it’s easy to read more about your skills. Your behaviour in social media gives away your opinions, your judgement and how you communicate. Share relevant content with your followers, and behave like a decent human being.
  4. Tell your network about what’s going on in your life, both positive and negative. I don’t mean that you should complain 24/7 if you are not feeling well, but don’t hold back if there is something that you would like to share that’s not positive. Your online community would be pretty useless if you are not able to share what’s making you sad or upset. After all, life is complicated, and distressing things are happening to everyone. To be more personal in your posts can be a challenge, but it’s more exciting for your friends and connections to read your thoughts.
  5. People who are rude and shout at others online will brand themselves as narcissistic bullies, and we remember nasty comments longer than friendly comments. Many social media networks are also ‘bumping’ posts that are commented on, so more people see them. So the rule is, no shouting or bullying.

An open book, glassed on a map

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The ‘right or wrong’ with technology and the connected world

A couple of days ago I had a chat with an acquaintance about technology and social media. I’ve been using and educating in the area of social media and digital leadership for years. Connectivity is fantastic and scary at the same time.

When we spoke, I was told I was negative when pointing out the risks with digital technology and connecting online.

It made me think quite deeply about what I’m doing. Shall I only speak and write about the shallow things around life online? Maybe I should just write blog posts that are in the style of ‘5 simple ways to use social media better’. It would be pretty easy; then I could even outsource my writing to someone else.

Many people have moved a significant part of their life online, and what happens there is not like playing a game, it’s as real as everything else in life.

Social media and the connected world is complicated. And there is no way out of it. We are going to be even more connected in the future whether we like it or not. Every year a few hundred million are going to get access to the internet. More people can afford a smartphone and use social media in many different ways.

Daily we are witnessing how ISIS is utilising social media to spread their message. The next moment we see a post about crazy cats on social media. Our online life is a mix of good and bad things.

Once when I was bored at a conference, I started writing a good old SWOT analysis about the digital economy. I would like to finish it with the help of you; then we can look at the SWOT when we have a moment of doubt whether our connected life is right or wrong.

SWOT Analysis, Vorlage

Here is the SWOT I wrote, in no particular order:


  • Many digital devices to choose from – the internet of things is growing
  • Better and faster communication and new ways to connect
  • Cheaper to stay connected with people around the world
  • Less travel and carbon footprint, if we choose to
  • Hundreds of new marketing ideas and solutions
  • People love to use and explore new technology
  • Opens up for collaboration and partnership
  • More data and information available
  • Social media is connecting the world
  • Flexible working possibilities
  • Less paper (or maybe not)
  • Improving productivity
  • More transparency
  • It’s here to stay


  • Bad customer service (should be forbidden to set up a business and then screw your customers over)
  • We have to dig in the ground, to rewire and connect people with faster broadband service
  • We are not sure what ‘best practice is’ because it has not been done before
  • Not enough young people are interested in tech and especially young girls
  • Organisations and teams are working in silos due to too many emails
  • You must sign up for long supplier contracts, like 12 or 24 months
  • Poor scrutiny of online sources. What information can we trust?
  • Slow broadband and you pay for more speed than you get
  • Bad technical infrastructure to build new services on
  • Not enough strong leaders who can drive  change
  • Trends move forward quickly. Difficult to keep up!
  • Online storage takes a lot of space and resources
  • Big confusion over who owns your personal data
  • Digital development is a bit ad hoc and messy
  • Websites and Apps have poor usability
  • Information overflow on the internet
  • Everyone can’t afford to be online


  • With your smartphone, you have information at your fingertip
  • People who never had a voice in the past can connect online
  • Online communities are gathering power and knowledge
  • Limitation due to geographically boundaries are smaller
  • More people will learn to code and create new solutions
  • You can take more courses online and educate yourself
  • New business opportunities are created all the time
  • New job roles we have never heard of are created
  • More ways for brands to connect with consumers
  • We can share our experiences easier with others
  • The web is opening up for magic connections!
  • New connectivity thanks to social media
  • You can track your own health data
  • Online tools make design easier
  • Easier to shop from home
  • Improving healthcare


  • Digital illiteracy equals bigger inequality. In the UK, 10 percent don’t have access at all to the web
  • Not setting big and ambitious goals about what we want to achieve with our digital economy
  • Lack of awareness of impact of digital technology and what it does to people
  • People are not expressing their opinions online due to the threat of trolling
  • The recruitment industry is broken and under the power of ‘keywords’
  • The giants such as Facebook and Google have too much power
  • Investments in new technology and education are too small
  • The dark web where you can trade illegal goods (it’s huge)
  • Organisational cultural change takes far too long time
  • Grooming of children and vulnerable people online
  • Our self-image changes when we spent time online
  • Data loss, it’s easy to forget to backup data
  • Many governments spy on their citizens
  • Online trolling and online bullying
  • Freedom of speech being abused
  • Talent management is harder
  • Lack of digital skills
  • Security issues
  • Privacy issues
  • Online fraud

What should I add. Please share your thoughts.


The connected world

Image borrowed from Mark Zuckerberg‘s Facebook profile. I hope he doesn’t mind 🙂

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Why we post – global anthropology and social media study

Last week I started the online course ‘Why We Post‘ with, UCL, University College London. It’s based on an anthropological study of social media conducted over 15 months and in different places across the world. I’m halfway through the course, and you can still come on board if you are interested.

Social media has been around for about ten years now, in its current form, that is. I was a member of a social network in 2000-2001 and it definitely connected us, but not that many people were involved. Now almost everyone who lives in the connected world is using either Facebook, LinkedIn, Twitter, Instagram, WhatsApp, WeChat or Snapchat. Some are super-connected and use all of these networks.

The course focuses on content and social groups rather than on the platforms and their designers. Anthropologists use a method called ‘participant observation’ which involves taking part in participants’ social life and not just conducting questionnaires or focus groups. But of course, they also listen closely to what people say, and must be fluent in the local language. They want to learn about what happens in ‘secret and private’ social networks such as WhatsApp and Facebook groups, and how we use the more public social media networks such as Facebook and Twitter.

They also ask participants what they do not share and debate openly on social media. I know some families that have as a rule that no members of the family are allowed to debate politics on open social media. Why? Because they are afraid of being seen as racists or as leaning towards a certain right-wing party, so instead they only share non-sensitive posts about dinners and trips and so on.

For ages workplaces have done their best to stop their employees from communicating with anyone they can. This Tayloristic perspective is still alive today, and many employers are worried that their employees connect too much with the outside world at work. I actually know about a laboratory in Sweden that has very strict communication rules. When at work you are not allowed to make any private phone calls during the day. If you want to do that you have to hide. You can’t even think about going on social media. Their staff turnover is high.

Unfortunately, I don’t have a solution for how to manage social media at work. I know myself that I am less distracted by Facebook when I’m involved and engaged in what I’m doing. Is it more about creating an organisation in which most people are involved and feel that they are contributing? Or would it help to not be allowed to use Facebook?

I’m leaving you to think about a solution; please share your ideas and thoughts with me if you wish to.

Have a lovely day ahead.

Discovery 1

Social media is not making us more individualistic

Discovery 2

For some people social media does not detract from education – it is education

Discovery 3

There are many different genres of selfie.

Discovery 4

Equality online doesn’t mean equality offline.

Discovery 5

It’s the people who use social media who create it, not the developers of platforms.

Discovery 6

Public social media is conservative.

Discovery 7

We used to just talk now we talk photos.

Discovery 8

Social media is not making the world more homogenous.

Discovery 9

Social media promotes social commerce not all commerce.

Discovery 10

Social media has created new spaces for groups between the public and private.

Discovery 11

People feel social media is now somewhere they live as well as a means for communication.

Discovery 12

Social media can have a profound impact on gender relations sometimes through using fake accounts.

Discovery 13

Each social media platform only makes sense in relation to alternative platforms and the media.

Discovery 14

Memes have become the moral police of online life.

Discovery 15

We tend to assume social media is a threat to privacy but sometimes is can increase privacy.

Cat as meme

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Social Media Q&A

Do you have any questions about life in relation to social media?

Send an email with your question to Sofie Sandell for a chance to get it published here.

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